Bounty Hunters are Nothing, but Trouble
by EmeraldsandAmethyst
Summary: Kevin's life in Videoland gets an unusual interruption.
1. Balloons and Peril

Chapter One: Balloons and Peril

It was a Thursday like any other Thursday in videogame land. Bright colors splashed every which where, cheerful music singing seemingly from the ground, a sudden pop followed by barking and a loud splash.

"Ouuwaaugh! My beautiful hair! Ruined, you dastard Captain N! I just got this wonderful cut this morning!" Simon said as he flailed about in the water. Duke barked excitedly at Simon's antics, hoping it was time for swimming games.

"No, no Simon. You have to pop the balloons from the top, not the bottom!" Called a voice from a falling winged teen. Kevin landed on the lowest platform and grabbed Duke's collar, "No boy, no swimming here. That's dangerous water!" Duke whined and sat down, trying to convince Kevin to change his mind. Kevin gave Duke a few pats on his head as he waited for Simon to get back into their game of Balloon Fight.

The sound of rushing air over came the background music and Kevin looked up to see a warp zone appear. Kid Icarus flew out, looking panicked.

"Cap, Simon, we have a problem to the maximus! Hurry up!" Kid Icarus said. Kevin immediately reached down to help Simon out of the water.

"But my hair will take all day to get back in shape for an emergency!" Simon said, looking ridiculously pitiful for such a large man.

"There's no time for that now Simon, we have to focus!" Kevin said nearly reflexively, hardly waiting for Simon to finish. Kevin tightened his grip on Simon and used his power pad to jump them both through the warp zone, Duke loyally following. They landed on the other side in the throne-slash-operations room for the N Team. Lana immediately began speaking.

"We've just gotten word from our sources that a bounty has been placed on a strong ninja from Ninja World –"

"What does that have to do with **us**, Princess? Ninjas are awful and sneaky, hardly such dashing heroes such as my splendiferous self!" Simon said as he posed in what he felt was a dashing and heroic manner.

"This bounty was placed by none other than Mother Brain, Simon. This is serious! This ninja, Ryu, refused Mother Brain's offer to join her side." Lana said, clearly annoyed at being interrupted so.

"She wants to mega-take him out! He's really strong, if he's gone he can't fight against her ninja minions in Ninja World!" Megaman said, trying to bring home the point so that the somewhat selfish hunter could understand. The idea of even more work, of such dangerous quality, was enough.

"That wretched Mother Brain, how dare she condemn such a valorous man to being hunted like vermin!" Simon said as he posed and decried the N Team's nemesis. The N Team seemed unmoved by Simon's sudden change of heart. Duke lowered his head and looked away, clearly embarrassed.

"Well, what are we waiting for team, lets go!" Kevin said, running for the warp zone to Ninja Land with Duke at his side. Lana, Kid Icarus and Megaman quickly followed his lead. Simon stayed back and tried to look important.

"I'll make sure that villainous Mother Brain doesn't ambush the Palace of Power while you all are away!" Simon called.

Atop a high building a lone man waited. He was dressed in all black with only his emotionless eyes exposed. He had a most mysterious air.

"Such a dishonorable foe, this Mother Brain. Too cowardly to send her own minions against me! Tricking other's to fight her battles for her! Even the best ninja must sleep, I hope this Captain N will be enough to show the fools where their money comes from."

Allowing only a short time for his thoughts, he leapt silently to another building. On the move again, appearing as a barely noticeable shadow against the night sky. For half a moment, a figure was almost visible on the same route.


	2. Ninjas in Danger

Chapter Two: Ninja in Danger

The warp zone spat out the N Team in the middle of a street.

"This is no place for us!" Kid Icarus said as they scrambled to the sidewalks. The streets were not quite what they were expecting though.

"Where are all the cars?" Kevin said. This video world was disturbingly barren of traffic for someone from the real world. Duke woofed agreement, this world was boring already.

"Perhaps we're not at that stage yet, Kevin." Said Lana.

"Oh, of course." Said Kevin, feeling embarrassed for not thinking of that right away. Videogames were his life now, but the thinking still wasn't always intuitive. "Well Princess, where are supposed to meet this mysterious ninja guy anyways?" He said in an attempt to recover.

"Haha, I've found you at last Gaiden. Your bounty is now belong to the glorious Curdles of Frumpington. Surrender!" said a strange looking fellow with a sword and dagger. The N Team looked around in confusion, no one else seemed to be there.

"Pardon me, but to whom are you speaking?" Asked Lana, hoping to clear up the situation and find Gaiden as quickly as possible.

"Stay out of this lady, this is no concern for you! I want Gaiden!" said the bounty hunter, clearly angry at having his dramatic moment interrupted. Duke barked ferociously, mad at the tone of voice.

"Hey don't talk to the Princess like that, jerk! She asked you a reasonable question, you should answer it." Kevin said, stepping up to the bounty hunter. The bounty hunter gestured towards Megaman.

"I told you I'm here for the mysterious guy Gaiden, you can't get more mysterious than that!"

Duke covered his face with his front paw and groaned.

"Mega-What? I'm no ninja! I'm a robot!" Said Megaman. While it was true it was night in the city, and the poor lighting made Megaman's bright blue body much darker… it was a big stretch to see a ninja.

"Don't you know what ninja's look like? They're tall and dark to the maximus!" Said Kid Icarus. Looking rather surprised that not everyone knew this.

"Hey, I'm not that short!" Said Megaman, annoyed at the jibe to his height.

"Don't you try to fool me, you can't hide if you're tall! You're head would be sticking out behind all the hiding places!" The bounty hunter was clearly furious at being played for a dupe. Duke lay down and covered his face with both paws.

"Arrooo." Duke said pitifully.

"You got it buddy, this guy is dense." Kevin said, "Look, we're not gonna tell you again, bub, this ain't that Gaiden fellow, this is our robot friend Megaman!" Kevin readied himself for a fight. He probably didn't even need his Power Pad for this guy.

A throwing star flew out from seemingly nowhere and nailed the confused bounty hunter, but good. He dissipated in a blip, leaving the N team looking around themselves in confusion.

"Who's there? Show yourselves!" Lana commanded. Duke pointed like a Pointer at the shadows as a mysterious figure came into view.

"You are the N Team. I called you here to aid me in this unfortunate situation." Said the figure.

"So you are Ryu! I hope we can get rid of this mega-bounty!" said Megaman.

"Finally, this loser shows himself!" shouted a voice. The N Team looked around to see bounty hunters of all sorts surrounding them.

"You see my dilemma, Captain N. No matter how many of these fools I take down, a hundred more take their place. Even I need to rest." Gaiden said.

"Man, don't these guys have better things to do than bother innocent ninjas!" said Lana, attacking the nearest one, taking him out with a good whack with her staff. Megaman blasted some of the ones farther off. Kid Icarus took out an arrow and shot at the big talker. The bounty hunter sprouted feathers and strutted around, clucking.

"Don't chicken out on us now!" Kid Icarus said, laughing. Duke ran towards the bounty hunter turned chicken, barking. The chicken-hunter let out a bawk and ran away in a cloud of feathers.

"Mega yeah, go bother someone else!" Megaman said. The bounty hunters gave a collective yell and charged down from their perches, hoping to mob the N Team into submission and get their bounty on the Ninja Gaiden. Kid Icarus flew up, shooting arrows into the mob.

"You guys need to chill out to the maximus!" Kid Icarus said as the bounty hunters shot by his arrows fell over, snoring. Kevin laughed at the joke as he fought his way to Ryu. Ryu was holding his own against the mob of bounty hunters, taking them out with throwing weapons before they could get close.

A large bounty hunter caught Kevin by surprise. Kevin dodged his kick and punched at him. The bounty hunter blocked and tried again to take down Kevin. Kevin dodged again and jumped back, getting ready to pull out his Zapper. When he saw throwing stars fly out of the darkness, aimed at Ryu's back.

"Oh no", Kevin thought, "I hope I can get there in time!"


	3. Captain Meets Hunter

Chapter Three: Captain Meets Hunter

Kevin thought fast in order to save Ryu from the oncoming throwing stars. He used his Power Pad to give himself the strength to throw the bounty hunter he was fighting with in the way of the throwing stars.

"Arrg!" The bounty hunter cried out as he dissipated in a blip. More stars flew out of the shadows, aimed at both Kevin and Ryu now.

"Hey, no fair!" shouted Kevin. He leapt out of the way and pulled out The Zapper. He took aim and shot the stars out of the air. Kevin aimed at the area the stars came from and fired. A figure in ninja garb rolled out of a shadowy balcony, throwing more stars at Kevin. Kevin again shot them down with the Zapper. Kevin shot at the figure as it landed. The energy of The Zapper's blasts rippled around the figure but didn't seem to do any damage. "What?" thought Kevin, "no ninja has energy shields! This is another bounty hunter!" The ninja-hunter threw another few stars and leapt over Kevin, trying to get to Ryu. Kevin used his Power Pad to leap up and tackle the ninja clothed hunter. The stars flew into the mob, taking out the other bounty hunters.

The hunter rolled with the tackle and flipped Kevin onto his back. Kevin grunted and tried to roll over on top. The ninja disguised hunter kicked out at Kevin as he rolled, and flipped him off again. Kevin kicked out at the hunter, hitting the hunter's head. The hunter's mask cracked. The hunter rolled and flipped up over Kevin. Kevin got up in time to punch at the hunter as the hunter landed crouching. The hunter blocked, but the mask fell away revealing a woman's face. Kevin stood up, shocked, gasping.

"Oh my gosh, you're Samus Aran! You are totally my favorite video game character **ever**, I can't believe I finally get to meet you! I never thought we'd ever get to visit Metroid Land, but you're here. Oh my gosh Metroid is so awesome, **you're** so awesome! Oh my gosh! This is so totally awesome. Oh. My. Gosh." Kevin said, his fanhood of Metroid coming to the fore. Completely forgetting the dangerous situation that he was in. Samus stood up into a defensive stance, and looked at Kevin with suspicion.

"How do you know me, boy?" she said. On guard.

Kevin bounced up and down in excitement. "You're only in the best videogame ever! You're the star of it! You're the best!" Kevin said, as he flailed about. Samus looked at him with disdain.

"Get over it boy, I'm about to run you down. This is my bounty, and I don't fail."

"What? I can't believe you'd ever work for Mother Brain!" said Kevin. Shocked again.

"What nonsense are you speaking of boy?" said Samus, irritated at this pathetic diversion attempt.

"The Princess of Videoland found the sources that went through the bounty agency were bogus! Mother Brain wants this guy taken out because he refused to join her!" Kevin said.

"What? Don't be ridiculous, she can afford to offer her own bounties." Samus said as she knocked Kevin's legs out from under him and pulled out a blaster. Clearly done with this banter.

"Oof." Kevin fell gracelessly, too surprised to have dodged. "But you wouldn't take her bounties, Samus!" Kevin said from the ground, as he didn't even try to get up. Samus aimed the blaster at him. "You're the only bounty hunter that never fails her bounties! This Ninja Gaiden guy is too good to be taken out by anyone else."

" There are other Hunters in the Elite Hunter League, boy. Your efforts are useless, I hope you have a continue saved up." Samus said, unmoved. Kevin was stunned, why would he lie about this? Didn't she know who he was? He was Captain N, savior of Videoland! Just as Samus pulled the trigger an arrow flew out of the quickly ending scuffle behind them and spoiled her aim. The blast hit the ground next to Kevin's head.

"Don't worry Cap, I've got your back!" called Kid Icarus.

"Thanks for the save!" Said Kevin. He kicked up and knocked the blaster out of Samus' hand. Samus grabbed Kevin's leg and twisted, Kevin twisted with the move and kicked out with his other leg. "I don't want to fight you Samus! Let me prove what I'm saying!" Samus let go of Kevin's leg and stepped back.

"Alright, but if this evidence isn't good your little sniper buddy won't be enough to save your skin!" Samus said. She pulled out more throwing stars from her ninja suit and aimed at the bounty hunters still up and fighting with the rest of the N Team. They dissipated in blips, leaving one opponent for each person in the fight. "That should even things up a bit." Samus said. Lana kicked out and destroyed her opponent. Megaman blasted away his and Kid Icarus' opponents as Kid Icarus flew over to Kevin. Ryu took down his opponent flawlessly.

"Are you ok, Kevin? That looked like a boss fight!" Kid Icarus said. Samus was unimpressed with Kid Icarus' comment. Kevin looked embarrassed.

"Where is this proof?" Samus said. She wanted to get this over with so she could collect her bounty. Kevin gestured at Lana.

"Princess Lana found this out, she can tell you exactly how." Kevin said. Lana walked over and took stock of the situation. Samus might not have kept up with what Captain N looked like, but she did know who the Princess of Videoland was by sight. Samus proffered a shallow bow to Lana.

"Princess." Samus said in acknowledgement of her status.

"Thank you, Hunter." Lana said, "The sources of the N Team may not be what they were when my father was in power, but they are still enough. One of our agents has access to the files of the Bounty Hunter's Unlimited Organization. This person sent us notification when one of Mother Brain's less well-known minions filed a suspicious bounty. It turns out our agent's suspicions were correct. Mother Brain had offered the Ninja Gaiden a high rank in The Legion of Darkness. For his skills are well known. She was angry at being turned down." Lana said. Ryu gave a bow of acknowledgement.

"This is true, I was approached by this eggplant person with an offer to work for Mother Brain. I declined the offer, explaining I preferred to work for no one." Ryu said. "No ninja would resort to such dishonor on his abilities as to hire others to fight in his place. I turned to The N Team for aid, as only machines need no sleep." Samus nodded slightly in agreement to the truth of this statement.

"I'll verify this myself." Samus said. And turned away, "But don't think I'm finished with you yet." Samus gave Kevin a strong look, and seemed to melt back into the shadows as she went on her way. The N Team watched her go with some trepidation. Except for Kevin. He was too excited to be worried by Samus' statement.

"Man, I can't believe I got to meet Samus! This is the best day in Videoland ever!" Kevin said, jumping about, unable to contain his excitement.

"If it wasn't for Kid Icarus that bounty hunter would have creamed you, Kevin!" Lana said. Kevin was too busy bouncing and talking to himself to notice Lana's reprimand.

"Yeah Princess. But I don't get why she was still so mad!" Kid Icarus said. "I shot her with my Arrow of Affection! She should have been feeling too warm and fuzzy to want to kill anything!" Kid Icarus seemed worried by this seeming problem with his arsenal.


	4. Reconnaissance

Chapter Four: Reconnaissance

"I must be getting soft." Samus thought to herself as she made her way back to her spaceship.

"I should have killed that guy where he stood, or lay, as the case may have been." She reflected. "I could have taken the bounty and hunted down the jerk that placed it. But the Princess wouldn't have liked that, and she's still powerful."

Samus' face reflected none of her thoughts as she called her ship down to retrieve her. "He **was** competent though." Samus boarded her ship and ordered it to return to The Locker. "And not too bad looking, either." She thought. Samus entered the gravator.

"Operations Deck." She commanded. The gravator dinged pleasantly and began moving.

"Ship, bring up comm. link to the Intergalactic Space Police, in Space-Land." Samus said.

"Complying." the ship's computer responded in a pleasant male voice. The gravator dinged and opened its doors. Samus walked down the hall into the Operations Room.

"Channel established, bringing link up onto main communicator on Operations Deck." The computer said.

"Samus Aran! To what do we owe the honor?" Said the public relations droid on the screen.

"I'm afraid you might not think that in a moment, CU-D09." Samus said.

"Oh my." Said CU-D09. "What seems to be the problem?"

"My bounty was issued illegally, I'm reporting the company that issued it for investigation." Samus said.

"We will get right on that Samus. Is there anything else we can help you with today?" said the public relations droid, polite as possible.

"You don't happen to have any good bounties or cases you need… closed?" Samus said. The droid tilted its head as it processed the request.

"We do have something for a Space Hunter of your caliber, Samus Aran. Do you take the offer?"

"You know my policies, feed me the data if it meets them." Samus said.

"Complying." Said the droid. A bar popped up on the view screen, showing the status of the data feed. "Thank you for your attention to the law, Space Hunter. We will flag this case with priority status. Have a pleasant day!" The link was terminated, the data feed finished.

"Excellent." Said Samus as she reviewed the data. The case was on a group of particularly nasty Space Pirates, many lesser hunters had been reported as confirmed dead after attempting this bounty and two members the Elite Hunters League missing. "I suppose I wouldn't mind a little… help… on this case." She thought. "Computer, pull up all data on "Captain: N" and send to my quarters." Samus stood from the Command Console and headed down the hall for the gravator. "I hope he wasn't just lucky today, this could be fun." She thought as she entered the gravator.

"Living Deck." Samus commanded the gravator. The gravator dinged pleasantly and moved to the appropriate deck. "I need to get out of this disguise, how can ninjas stand this getup?" Samus said as she stepped out of the opening gravator doors. The doors dinged pleasantly behind her as it closed.

She turned into her quarters and pressed a few buttons on the console on her desk. The lighting dimmed as Samus stripped off her disguise.

She turned into her quarters and pressed a few buttons on the console on her desk. The lighting dimmed as Samus stripped off her disguise.

"Finally." She said, sighing in relief. She walked over to one of the doors and stepped in. A warm bath was being drawn into the luxurious spa. Samus stepped into a stall next to the bath.

"Run shower sequence." She said, computer dinged a slightly different tone and ran the sonic pulses that were used for cleaning. After a few seconds the computer issued the same tone.

"Cleaning sequence complete." The computer said. Samus stepped out of the stall and lowered herself slowly into the comfortably warm water that was waiting. "Sequence "Relaxation" has been initiated at Captain's Terminal One. Prior Command in conflict with part of Sequence. Request orders."

"Leave off the vids, send me the requested data on this viewscreen." Samus ordered.

"Complying." Soothing music issued from speakers and a viewscreen on the wall above the bath came on. With information on Captain N displayed on it. Samus read over it, scrolling through it with her cybernetic links to the ship. She didn't truly need to speak her commands to it, but she was still human. Living the life of a loner she developed some unusual habits.

"It seems you weren't just lucky during our little scuffle." Samus murmured. "Apparently I should have been keeping up with the status of Videoland more thoroughly. Things have gotten exciting as of late." She said to herself. She lay back in the bath, sighing in enjoyment of the experience. "I suppose now is as good a time as any to take some revenge against "Mother"." She said. A small service droid hovered into the room with a glass of Champaign, and two bowls. Warmed, rare chocolate was in one dish and fresh, ripe strawberries in the other. The droid hovered at a convenient height for Samus to reach the flute, she grabbed it and the droid moved so that the chocolate and strawberries were near her other hand.

Samus took a small sip of the Champaign, rolling it around, enjoying the play of subtle flavors and tingling of the carbonation.

"Ahh, I guess I don't really need another bounty for a **while**…" she mused to herself after swallowing the delicate bubbly. She took a strawberry from the tray and seemed to contemplate it. It was a luscious, rich red, plump and soft. The stem and leaves were a dark green, slightly rough in texture. The strawberry smelled fragrant and sweet, she brushed it against her lips. "Mmm, perfect, let's see how you taste." She took a delicate nibble, savoring the sweetness, the almost-but-not-quite tangy aftertaste of a perfectly ripe berry. "Ahh yes, an exceptional harvest." She twirled the Champaign flute in her other hand, eyes closed.

"Computer, bring up some images on Captain N." The computer chimed softly and complied, showing various image files of the N Team with Kevin, and Kevin alone as a slide show. She swallowed the bite and sighed. "I don't guess I'd have much time to relax if I were helping the N Team. I'll just have to make sure you'll be worth it."

Samus took another sip of Champaign, and dipped the strawberry into the chocolate. She pressed the chocolate against her lips, taking a deep breath of the rich, dark scent. She opened her mouth and took a bite. She chewed slowly, enjoying the combination of the bitter, smooth, dark chocolate and the sweet, juicy, tang of the strawberry. After a few moments she swallowed, chasing it down with a sip of Champaign. The dry bubbly was a perfect compliment to the flavors of chocolate and berry.

She discarded the stem and picked up another strawberry. She took a nibble from the strawberry, less delicately this time, allowing its juices to trickle across her lips. She brought the strawberry back up to the warmed chocolate and dipped it in. She brought it slowly to her mouth, savoring the scents. She moaned softly and licked some chocolate from the strawberry, relishing the exotic flavor.

Her toes curled and flexed, and she took another lick of the chocolate covering the strawberry. The flavor was wonderful, a bitter-smooth compliment to the darkly sweet scent of chocolate and berries, all of which added to the warm tingling feeling of the warm water lapping against her skin. She took a final bite of the berry and discarded the stem.

Eyes closed, she took a sip of the Champaign and sunk low in the water, the picture of total relaxation.

A few moments of rest was all she allowed herself, all she truly needed for the day. She picked up the Champaign flute as she stood up from the bath, water glistening off of her skin in the dim lighting. She tossed the rest of the Champaign down in one drink.

"Computer, set the fastest course for the Palace of Power." She ordered as she placed the empty flute on the service droid.

"Complying." said the ship's computer. Samus stepped out of the bath and back into the stall.

"Initiate drying sequence." The computer chimed and the stall initiated sonic wave pulses until Samus was completely dried off.

She smirked as she stepped out of the stall, walking quickly toward gravator.

"I told you I wasn't done with you yet, Kevin." She said as she headed for the armory, and the battle suit stored there. "I hope you'll be more than a fun diversion."


End file.
